Sex and Relationships

Dealing with a depressive lover - 1

One of the most challenging situations in a relationship is to deal with a partner who is in depression. Depression may come in different shapes and sizes. The difficulty may vary according to this shape and size.

A depressive lover may want to have sex more than she/he wants under normal circumstances. It is also possible that she/he no more wants to have sex for a while. Both are natural consequences of a depression. You shouldn’t get tense about this. It’s not you.

You can help her/him heal herself by showing that you still love her with all of her faults, her worries and her depression. Knowing that you will not leave her/him alone would be a good point for the depressed person to feel secure and heal more quickly.

By the way, let’s have look on what may be some basic symptoms of depression:

(source: Depression, not Depression from Psychology Blog )

Here are some basic guidelines that you can test yourself briefly, whether you are suffering from depression or not:

• difficulty in sleeping, sleep disorders: if you sleep less than usual or more than usual, and if this continues longer than two weeks, this may be an indicator of a depression.
• abnormally increasing or abnormally decreasing sexual desire: if you feel that you need less sex than usual or you need more sex than usual and if this continues longer than two weeks, this may be an indicator of a depression.
• abnormally increase or decrease in appetite, if this continues longer than two weeks, this may be an indicator of a depression too.

Apart form this basic, mini test, you may feel miserable and depressive after a loss of a loved one, an end of a romantic relationship, a financial loss and alike, that doesn’t mean you are in a depression medically. So, that doesn’t mean there is something wrong with your flow of serotonin in the brain.

(..to be continued)

Add comment December 18th, 2006

Impotence may mean that you don’t want to please her

Sometimes, psychological impotence may just be an indicator that you are angry towards her and you don’t want to please her for the moment.

Men usually tend to feel weak whenever an impotence arises. They tend to think that they are not man enough. It is a great trouble for them that their most important sex-toy is not functioning.

Impotence may have medical causes like mulfunction in the blood-vessels, or heart related diseases, and alike. However, there are also psychological reasons of impotence that can be solved through talk therapy, meditation, or some technique that will uncover the underlying anxiety.

Some psychological factors may be every-day-life related stresses but some factors are purely related with your relationship. An erected penis, is a wonderful tool for a man to please his wife/lover/girlfriend/etc. Sometimes, a not-functioning penis may tell you about that you just don’t want to please her, unconsciously. Reasons for this punishment may vary.

Most effective way of handling this and going through it is talking. Talk to your partner about what makes you angry, breaks your heart. If not, try to listen to yourself and understand what kind of anger may have caused you to cease pleasing her.

Don’t forget that this is only one approach and just a possibility about your impotence. There may be many other reasons, or it may be that you just don’t want to have sex for that moment only.

Enjoy life.

1 comment February 11th, 2006