Posts filed under 'Relationships'
During relationships, there are times that one can fall into doubt whether to tell her/his feelings or not. They don’t have to be feelings all the time, this can also what you think about her/him.There are reasons that people may avoid talking or establish any other communication like mail, chat, sms, etc. that is using language.
One of the reasons is past relationships in that she or he committed in an open communication which resulted in snob behavior on the other side. There is a thinking like, “if i am going to tell what i feel, the sun will go down, there won’t be any magic again”. This is the point exactly where a relationship gets poisoned by strategy.
Because by this time, you may enter into some cold war in which there are misery and the unknown.
On the other hand, some people may use this miscommunication (not to communicate is a miscommunication) as an attractive feature that will result in a posionous seduction. Thus, they may feel like they have a new weapon on her/him.
The fact is, we don’t need weapons in a relationship. Your body, your gestures, your communication overall is a very good tool to seduce someone. Moreover, those are real. When you tell about yourself and your relationship openly and still seduce her/him, you can feel that this seduction is very real.
Enjoy.
December 23rd, 2006
A common asked question during separation of couples is this: How do I get her back? Well, there have been different approaches to this question every time, depending on the causes of the separation.
One approach would be to leave her to have some rest. Maybe for a couple of days, maybe for weeks. This may solve the situation if her reason for a separation is about too little time for herself.
Another approach may be to communicate more. On some occasions, couples tend do communicate only a little about real issues going on between them. Instead of having a conversation on their feelings, they spend their time communicating about how cool everything is or not. This chattering about the cool also depends on the age of both members of the couple.
As time goes by, as years pass, communication get better though, however it has never been a straightforward easy issue to talk about feelings.
Most people tend to have insecure feelings when they aren’t talked to about feelings for a long period of time. So, your first step must be to make her sure that you don’t want to be away from her and you don’t want to leave her.
Then, take the time to know yourself more. Think about what would make you less attractive. Don’t be harsh to yourself though. This process shouldn’t be a military one. 
It is very useful to let her know that something is changed about you (and make this so that this is the thing she wanted you to change most) and let her know. This is cruical because women have an inner time-bomb of patience. There is always something in you that they don’t like and they expect you to change it without telling you what is to be changed. Try to figure out what that is and try to change this and don’t be hesitate to let her know about this change.
Good luck and love.
December 23rd, 2006
One of the most challenging situations in a relationship is to deal with a partner who is in depression. Depression may come in different shapes and sizes. The difficulty may vary according to this shape and size.
A depressive lover may want to have sex more than she/he wants under normal circumstances. It is also possible that she/he no more wants to have sex for a while. Both are natural consequences of a depression. You shouldn’t get tense about this. It’s not you.
You can help her/him heal herself by showing that you still love her with all of her faults, her worries and her depression. Knowing that you will not leave her/him alone would be a good point for the depressed person to feel secure and heal more quickly.
By the way, let’s have look on what may be some basic symptoms of depression:
(source: Depression, not Depression from Psychology Blog )
Here are some basic guidelines that you can test yourself briefly, whether you are suffering from depression or not:
- difficulty in sleeping, sleep disorders: if you sleep less than usual or more than usual, and if this continues longer than two weeks, this may be an indicator of a depression.
- abnormally increasing or abnormally decreasing sexual desire: if you feel that you need less sex than usual or you need more sex than usual and if this continues longer than two weeks, this may be an indicator of a depression.
- abnormally increase or decrease in appetite, if this continues longer than two weeks, this may be an indicator of a depression too.
Apart form this basic, mini test, you may feel miserable and depressive after a loss of a loved one, an end of a romantic relationship, a financial loss and alike, that doesn’t mean you are in a depression medically. So, that doesn’t mean there is something wrong with your flow of serotonin in the brain.
(..to be continued)
December 18th, 2006
This is a common phenomena that has been observed both formally and informally on couples.
It usually ocuures like this: You dream about her/him and in the meanwhile your door-bell or your phone rings and the caller is he/she.
Apart from this it is also possible that the gift you have bought for him/her is very close or the exact object what he/she would like to have.
There are theories on how that happens and there are a wide variety of approaches to the matter.
Nevertheless, it is an unavoidable truth of love and life.
November 8th, 2006
This is one of the favorites of monthly magazines that cover things like relationships, men and women, etc.
Why do we feel difficulty on taking the fisrt step to know her/him? What is so uneasy with this?
Taking risks are always an area of the unknown. We may be very afraid with the fact that we are going to get rejected, humiliated, etc.
However, you can try to think yourself as the person, that being in her/his shoes, how would you reacty to someone that tries to know you better?
How would you reply if someone wants to have a drink with you? How would you behave towards somebody that calls you and invites you to dinner? Would you always yell at them? Probably not.
So, you are not the only one that can behave kind to people that asks something from you. Many people won’t immediately reject you or humiliate you in any way that you are afraid from.
You should just begin to try and take yourself out of that prison which is built by your own hands and mind.
Try it. Better now.
February 28th, 2006
While internet brings us speed on many areas of our lives, it also makes it easier to meet new people.
There are many matchmaker sites on the net as you all know.
I like them a lot because there have been a very new way in which a new kind of flirt emerges.
Some psychologists claim that this would distort one’s perception of reality whereas some other professional say that this new kind of relationship may be just fun and may be valuable for personal development.
I for myself, think that dating sites is an excellent way of seeing that you have choices in life. Even though you may meet nobody over the net in your real life, you may find the opportunity to develop your communication skills with the opposite sex, or the sex you may enjoy.
Sometimes we really need to exercise communication skills before we meet the real world.
Internet do this for us.
February 16th, 2006
Every human relation involves communication. Verbal communication only occupies about 30% of that communication. Rest is nonverbal.
Sometimes, in some relations, some people tend to communicate via violence. That is a harsh, impolite, and weak way of communication.
Please keep in mind it is a way of communication and it implies that the person is not able to communicate otherwise.
You should of course protect yourself against him/her. I won’t tell about ways to protect yourself here, you can find many resoursec on the net on that topic.
I just would like to emphasize that people who demonstrate aggression and violence in a relationship do have real communication problems. Violence is a miscommunication.
However, you shouldn’t feel guilty about this miscommunication because you are not the cause of this aggression/violence.
You should decide for yourself. Nobody deserves violence.
February 16th, 2006
I came accross this photo during visiting flickr. She is really nice, a lovely face and I tought to myself, what is it that makes her more attractive to me than other women.
Well, for me, it’s the face and hair, phsyically but I think there is more than that.
I call this “aura” what the person in this photo makes me feel about myself and herself.
We tend to think that it’s the clothing, the beauty, the cosmetic, however attractiveness is not limited to those features.
I think it’s the way you give an impression to your face. The rest is not so important. It’s the eyes, I think.
February 15th, 2006
Sometimes, you suddenly feel that you are very ready to enter into a relationship however there aren’t anybody around you!
At those times, you should take a deep breath and think about your options. Always realize that you have options in life. You can easily call your friends and arrange a meeting where you can see friends of firends. It is also possible to start walkings or jogging in parks, in which usually you will see somebody that will interest you.
Since you now know you have options, you should also realize that it is only ourselves that brings us alone.
February 14th, 2006
Today, a friend of mine showed up on msn and told me that he fall in love with a girl where he talked to on msn messenger.
I wondered and asked about how she looks like. The answer was quick and shocking to me: “I don’t know, I have no idea!”.
Now that’s interesting, falling in love can be at any time, anywhere, anyhow. I understand that. However, I feel difficulty on understanding how to fall in love on an instant messenger, without seeing her.
Dating, even a blind date involves some physical proximity. I am not against the idea that two people may love each other without seeing each other phsyically but I think that falling in love has to do very much with physical appearence.
February 14th, 2006
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