Archive for December, 2006
During relationships, there are times that one can fall into doubt whether to tell her/his feelings or not. They don’t have to be feelings all the time, this can also what you think about her/him.There are reasons that people may avoid talking or establish any other communication like mail, chat, sms, etc. that is using language.
One of the reasons is past relationships in that she or he committed in an open communication which resulted in snob behavior on the other side. There is a thinking like, “if i am going to tell what i feel, the sun will go down, there won’t be any magic again”. This is the point exactly where a relationship gets poisoned by strategy.
Because by this time, you may enter into some cold war in which there are misery and the unknown.
On the other hand, some people may use this miscommunication (not to communicate is a miscommunication) as an attractive feature that will result in a posionous seduction. Thus, they may feel like they have a new weapon on her/him.
The fact is, we don’t need weapons in a relationship. Your body, your gestures, your communication overall is a very good tool to seduce someone. Moreover, those are real. When you tell about yourself and your relationship openly and still seduce her/him, you can feel that this seduction is very real.
Enjoy.
December 23rd, 2006
A common asked question during separation of couples is this: How do I get her back? Well, there have been different approaches to this question every time, depending on the causes of the separation.
One approach would be to leave her to have some rest. Maybe for a couple of days, maybe for weeks. This may solve the situation if her reason for a separation is about too little time for herself.
Another approach may be to communicate more. On some occasions, couples tend do communicate only a little about real issues going on between them. Instead of having a conversation on their feelings, they spend their time communicating about how cool everything is or not. This chattering about the cool also depends on the age of both members of the couple.
As time goes by, as years pass, communication get better though, however it has never been a straightforward easy issue to talk about feelings.
Most people tend to have insecure feelings when they aren’t talked to about feelings for a long period of time. So, your first step must be to make her sure that you don’t want to be away from her and you don’t want to leave her.
Then, take the time to know yourself more. Think about what would make you less attractive. Don’t be harsh to yourself though. This process shouldn’t be a military one. 
It is very useful to let her know that something is changed about you (and make this so that this is the thing she wanted you to change most) and let her know. This is cruical because women have an inner time-bomb of patience. There is always something in you that they don’t like and they expect you to change it without telling you what is to be changed. Try to figure out what that is and try to change this and don’t be hesitate to let her know about this change.
Good luck and love.
December 23rd, 2006
One of the most challenging situations in a relationship is to deal with a partner who is in depression. Depression may come in different shapes and sizes. The difficulty may vary according to this shape and size.
A depressive lover may want to have sex more than she/he wants under normal circumstances. It is also possible that she/he no more wants to have sex for a while. Both are natural consequences of a depression. You shouldn’t get tense about this. It’s not you.
You can help her/him heal herself by showing that you still love her with all of her faults, her worries and her depression. Knowing that you will not leave her/him alone would be a good point for the depressed person to feel secure and heal more quickly.
By the way, let’s have look on what may be some basic symptoms of depression:
(source: Depression, not Depression from Psychology Blog )
Here are some basic guidelines that you can test yourself briefly, whether you are suffering from depression or not:
- difficulty in sleeping, sleep disorders: if you sleep less than usual or more than usual, and if this continues longer than two weeks, this may be an indicator of a depression.
- abnormally increasing or abnormally decreasing sexual desire: if you feel that you need less sex than usual or you need more sex than usual and if this continues longer than two weeks, this may be an indicator of a depression.
- abnormally increase or decrease in appetite, if this continues longer than two weeks, this may be an indicator of a depression too.
Apart form this basic, mini test, you may feel miserable and depressive after a loss of a loved one, an end of a romantic relationship, a financial loss and alike, that doesn’t mean you are in a depression medically. So, that doesn’t mean there is something wrong with your flow of serotonin in the brain.
(..to be continued)
December 18th, 2006